Out! And Into Open Arms
When a young person comes out as LGBTQ+…
especially as transgender or nonbinary, parents, caregivers, and other adults in their lives may find themselves navigating both personal emotions and external challenges while learning how to best offer support.
Out! and Into Open Arms, a podcast created by NH Outright, in partnership with Treehouse Audio Productions, is here to guide parents of LGBTQ+ youth, and others who care about them, through that journey. Every child’s coming out story is unique, and this series helps caring adults learn strategies to lead with love, embrace the process, and feel confident in supporting a young person through this next chapter of life.
Hosts Jess Goff and Mark Belanger sit down with four families of LGBTQ+ youth to share real stories, insights, and guidance on how to walk alongside a child exploring their gender identity—and how to show up as the supportive caregiver they need.
Episode 1: Welcome & Izy’s Story
In the first episode, you’ll meet Jess (she/her) and Mark (he/him), your hosts. We’ll talk about the basics of supporting a young person who’s coming out and what to expect in the rest of the podcast. You’ll also hear from our first family! Izy (they/them), an active ten-year-old, and their parent, Dave (he/him), talk about their coming out experience, including initial reactions, haircuts, and being brave.
“I refer to it as the gender adventure, not the gender journey, because we don't know where it goes. And that's OK.”
“Once I came out to everyone I wanted to, I was happier and calmer.”
Episode 2: Jordan’s Story
Fifteen-year-old artist Jordan (he/him) and his parent Karen (she/her) reflect on the joys and challenges since coming out four years ago, including supportive siblings, finding community, and pronoun mix-ups.
“I think it helped me realize a lot like, oh, you don't have to identify a specific way and there's not one way to identify.”
“We are so fortunate in that we have a solid group of friends... who are just the most amazing, supportive people”
Episode 3: Jemma’s Story
Jemma (she/her), who has an advanced brown belt in karate, and her parent, Michelle (she/her), talk about how she’s grown into the happiest version of herself, including new clothes, name changes, and navigating gender dysphoria from a young age.
“Wherever she was gonna end up, she needed to have that space and time to get there.”
“I think the first time just hearing herself say it out loud was like, okay, yeah, this is who I am. This is me and this is who I am.”
Episode 4: Peter’s Story
Peter (he/him), an aspiring young actor, and his parent, Mary (she/her), share his experience of coming out, including fearing rejection, sense of belonging, and navigating conflict with unaccepting family members.
“When I first came out… I was afraid that my parents wouldn't love me anymore.”
“Be present, be in the moment, walk with him along the way.”
Episode 5: The Power of Community
In this episode, we talk about the power of community. All four families share how leaning on the LGBTQ+ community has helped them and their child be more resilient in the face of adversity.
“They don’t have any challenges with who they are. They have challenges with how the world accepts them.”
“It's important to find a community, and like a place that you kind of fit in, because you can connect with other kids like you.”
Episode 6: Coming Out at School, to Friends, and to Others
In this episode, we talk about how parents can support youth as they navigate social challenges, and hear from the families on topics like: how and when to tell the school, how to handle peer rejection or bullying, how to find your path in the world of sports, and how to share your kid’s identity with others.
“You are surrounded by so many people who love you for who you are.”
“The hardest part was actually it became a litmus test for who was really our friend and who was really our family.”
Episode 7: Pronouns, Bathrooms, and Healthcare, Oh My!
In this episode, we hear from families and talk about navigating unique challenges like being misgendered, the binary bathroom problem, and accessing inclusive healthcare.
“Just try. Trying means a lot. My grandfather didn't try and that hurt. Just try.”
“A lot of it has been just getting a temperature from him, like where are you at? And then really telling him how brave it is to tell us when things are going on. That's not an easy thing to do.”
Episode 8: Before You Go: Words of Wisdom, Hope, and Optimism
In the final episode, we want to leave you with words of wisdom, hope, and optimism as you embark on your own adventure of supporting youth who are coming out. Stick around until the end of the episode for a surprise!
“We're not doing everything right, but hopefully we're doing the most important things right.”
“It's not a loss. Your child is telling you who they always were.”
Key Takeaways
Lead with love: it’s your best guide.
You’ve supported your child through change before; you can do this too.
You’re not alone! Seek out community and support.
Care for yourself so you can best care for your child.
Celebrate your child’s courage and express pride in them.
Foster safe, flexible spaces for identity exploration.
It’s an adventure. You don’t know where the road will lead you. And that’s OK.
Expect mistakes; practice forgiveness, repair, and moving forward.
Remind them that you love them: always, forever, no matter what.
Meet the Hosts
Jessica Goff
Jessica “Jess” Goff (she/her/hers) is the Education and Training Director at New Hampshire Outright, a nonprofit organization that serves, supports, and advocates for LGBTQ+ youth and families across the Granite State. As part of this role, she coordinates educational opportunities and spaces within schools, organizations, and the broader community that aim to increase the visibility of LGBTQ+ youth and foster the implementation of supportive practices. Jessica holds her Master’s Degree in Social Work from the University of New Hampshire. She has worked within the nonprofit sector for the past nine years, continually seeking to create intersectional safe spaces in her work with youth, unhoused folks, individuals with Developmental Disabilities, and the LGBTQ+ community. She is a lifelong NH resident and currently lives in Concord.
Mark Belanger
Mark Belanger (he/him/his) is the Founder and CEO of Integration Sciences, an organization that supports healthcare providers and state government leaders to improve healthcare delivery, education, and justice systems. As part of this role, Mark has helped set up many of our state’s systems for behavioral healthcare including 9-8-8/NH Rapid Response, NH’s response system for individuals in crisis. Mark holds a Master’s Degree in Business Administration from Babson College and an Undergraduate Degree in Music Education from the University of New Hampshire. Mark is a former teacher in the Seabrook NH school system and is the parent of two teenagers.
Resources
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Trevor Lifeline for LGBTQ Youth| thetrevorproject.org | Call: (866) 488-7386 | Text: "start" to 678678
The Trevor Project's support services are staffed with trained crisis counselors and are available 24/7, 365 days a year. Services are 100% confidential and 100% free. The Trevor Project Website provides comprehensive factual information and guides relating to LGBTQ+ and mental health topics, including intersectionally-focused webpages.
Trevor Chat (online chat option)
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The LGBT National Youth Talkline | lgbthotline.org/youth-talkline | (800) 246-7743 | HELP@LGBThotline.org
Provides anonymous, free, and confidential phone and email peer-support to youth from trained volunteers, as well as factual information and resources for cities and towns across the United States. Serves youth through age 25.
Hours:
-Monday - Friday from 4pm to 12am EST
-Saturday from 12pm to 5pm EST
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PFLAG NH provides support to parents, children, and friends who are coming to terms with their gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, intersex, and questioning loved ones. All are welcome at our monthly support meetings.
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For more resources, check our our resources page here.
